it’s red baby

What is the purpose of anger? It’s so bodily and hot and disorienting, it’s little spirals turning into a hot mess inside. Sadness makes us realise we felt something for someone, what does anger do? Mask hurt? So why don’t we just hurt, because I’d rather hurt than be angry, I’d rather break down on a train, in a work toilet, on a walk, than be angry. Anger is red. Do we talk about anger and men, it’s a manly emotion, that deadly ‘belief’ that if a man hits you he’s so in love with you he’s risking his freedom. Red. Passion. Passiona is a very underrated sugar drink, the bubbles can make you angry if you’re in sensory overload. 

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Red. Romance. Blood. Hormones. Red is woman when it is bodily. Red is to be hidden in this regard. Red surrounds a fresh baby, and so does white. I think those are the two colours of life. Real blood and film blood, they say red lips and red nails draw a man in. Red. Base. Animal. Pheromones. Women wearing their orgasm secretion on their necks to attract a fertile mate. Red. Medical abortion blood all around a toilet bowl and in between your legs. Woman rage is red. Red in fighting for our bodily autonomy, it’s a fight we’ll never stop, sadly. Red. Kids draw lips red, natural or are their mothers wearing lipstick. 

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Red. Virgin blood down the shower drain or on a dildo. Red. Little bits of blood are an Implanon inserted site. Red. It runs around me when a guy tries to explain birth control to me as if I didn’t just have it removed. Red. Dark red under his nails, my red not just on his fingers. Red. Slapped skin. Rub it and kiss it and the tingling stops. Red. Strawberry milkshake and velvet cake. Food dye, dyed hair, red let loose in a brain and a heart. It’s a three letter word, a noun, an adjective, grammar can make many red with annoyance, as can maths. Red is just a colour, someone’s favourite colour, it means they’re strong, outgoing and confident. But how much red have these people experienced? Red ink is a financial term for loss. Green. Red ink can seem to bleed and scab more. Red on red. Boxing MMA bare knuckle fighting. Man’s blood falls from their faces. It lands on gloves, shirts, pavement. Our blood falls from us and lands into a tampon or a pad, or new period technology. Red lollies make tongues an artificial red.

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Anger is red. Red is so much more than anger. Czerwone.